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The Cabinet

The Cabinet, and the twelve ways one list is sorted

The cabinet

There is one list here. The cabinet is that list pulled open twelve ways: by hair, by frame and by age. Three plain facts, taken from her documents and a tape rather than from an adjective, and sorted without being scored. No drawer outranks another, nobody is placed above anybody inside one, and every name in it is also on The Hang.

Opening a drawer changes which name arrives and nothing else: an hour is £250 in all twelve, ten hours £1,800, and the full ladder sits on the rates page. Every woman appears in three drawers and thirteen of them in four, which is simply how a sorted list behaves.

The Cabinet

Twelve drawers

Drawer 01hairBlondesFour names. Only the auburn drawer is shorter. Honey, caramel, bright gold and a loose wave, each worn long. They were not chosen as a set and they hold a pattern nobody arranged: three of the...4 on this wall Drawer 02hairBrunettesFifteen of the twenty-eight are brown haired, which makes this much the largest drawer in the cabinet and the least useful one to open on its own. Brown covers a great deal of ground: light and...15 on this wall Drawer 03hairRaven hairedSix women here have black hair, and it is worn straight and long by all but one of them. The drawer holds a coincidence the house did not arrange: five of the six stand at 170 cm or above, and the...6 on this wall Drawer 04hairAuburn and redThree women here have auburn hair, and there is nobody else on the list in that range. It is the smallest drawer in the cabinet and the house has no intention of padding it, because a fourth name...3 on this wall Drawer 05silhouettePetiteSeven women here are small framed. The tape runs from 158 cm at one end to 169 cm at the other, which needs explaining: one of the seven is tall on paper and petite in build, and she is filed here...7 on this wall Drawer 06silhouetteStatuesqueNine women here stand 172 cm or more, and the tape runs to 178 cm at the top of it. That is a third of the list, which surprises people, and it is why this drawer is worth reading beside another...9 on this wall Drawer 07silhouetteCurvaceousTen of the twenty-eight carry a fuller figure, and the tape across them runs from 160 cm to 175 cm, which is as wide a spread as any frame drawer here. They have one habit in common and it is...10 on this wall Drawer 08silhouetteSlim and slenderTen women here are slim built, and the drawer runs tall: six of the ten are above 170 cm and only one is under 165. It is the drawer with the least variation in manner, which is unusual. Seven of...10 on this wall Drawer 09silhouetteToned and athleticFive women here are athletically built, and in every case it is the product of something they still do rather than something they once did. They run, they swim, one walks to most of her bookings...5 on this wall Drawer 10ageEarly twentiesTen women here are between twenty-two and twenty-four. Ages are taken from a document looked at across a table rather than estimated from a photograph, and everybody on this site is eighteen or...10 on this wall Drawer 11ageLate twentiesHalf the list is between twenty-five and twenty-nine, which makes this the largest drawer in the cabinet by some distance. It is also where most of the long bookings sit: of the fourteen, more...14 on this wall Drawer 12ageThirties and beyondFour women here are thirty or above, and none of them has any interest in rounding it down. It is the smallest age drawer and the one the house uses most deliberately, because when a message...4 on this wall
Plate 02

Hair, four drawers

Colour shortens a first message more than anything else, so the cabinet starts there. Blondes holds four. Brunettes holds fifteen, spread across nine of the twelve districts. Black haired holds six, five of them at 170 cm or above, by accident rather than policy. Auburn and red holds three and is the smallest drawer.

Plate 03

Frame, five drawers

Build and height, and nothing further. The tape runs from 158 cm in petite to 178 cm in statuesque, with curvaceous, slim and slender and toned and athletic between. The overlap is deliberate: a woman who is tall and slim appears in both drawers rather than under whichever word came first.

Plate 04

Age, three drawers

Ages are read off a document, not guessed from a photograph, and everyone here is eighteen or over. Early twenties holds ten and suits a quicker pace. Late twenties is the largest at fourteen and holds most of the long dinners. Thirties holds four, the names Tamsin reaches for when a room is going to be difficult.

Plate 05

What the cabinet does not do

It does not rank, star or price anybody differently. Nor is a drawer the whole of a woman: it knows her hair and her height and nothing of how she is at the second hour of a dinner, which is on her own page and is what decides an evening.

If two drawers both look right, read them together. That is the quickest route to a shortlist, and it is what Tamsin does when a guest leaves the choice to her.

Plate 06

Then one message

Her page carries the photographs, the hours she keeps, her district and the length of evening that suits her. Send a name, a date, the hours and where you are staying; the reply names a woman, an arrival time and a figure in pounds. Booking has the four steps, and the commissions list the ten shapes an evening can take.

Tonight

Stand at the rope. We will unhook it.

Send the district, the hour and the length of the evening. A name and a confirmation come back before your first drink is finished.

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